Wednesday, May 2, 2012

PC POST #46: Plastic Punishment: A Punisher Figure History.

Post by @CAStLEctc

They were pieces of plastic molded into different entities and forms that I would litter my walls, floors, cabinets, and everywhere else with, when I wasn't playing with them. Of course I'm talking about action figures, and my childhood was filled with them. Actually, to be frank, up until only a few years back did I discontinue collecting action figures. That was only because it was getting out of hand, and I just had to ask myself if collecting these collectables was really what I should be doing with my spare time and money. But truth be told, it's not too seldom that I don't see a new variant or wave and get extremely enticed to buy them and find myself having to hold back.

While the majority of my figures ended up in a gigantic blue hamper, there were a few that triumphantly made it out of that shallow plastic grave and I keep on my walls or in a viewable area, and probably always will. The bulk of them are Punisher figures. I know, what a shocker! Writing this blog right now is actually reminding me of that movie The 40 Year Old Virgin. He was the older nerd who had all the best toys and collectibles, yet no social life or romantic interests to speak of. In particular, the scenes where she discovers his fascination, and he hides the figures, and ultimately has to choose between the two. Although it's comical, I relate all too well, and I'm sure a lot of nerds have felt similarly at one point. Is that the fate for some of us? Why should collecting be frowned upon? Regardless of the subject, I find collections, and the people who collect, riveting and entertaining. But anyways, I digress.

What follows here is a very brief history and just a fun run-through of a lot of the Punisher action figures I've seen or owned at some point in my life. Granted, there were a few I couldn't find pictures of, and some I've probably forgotten and left out, but I feel it's an overall somewhat-fitting assessment of the topic.

Getting things started, what could be better than to begin with the very first Punisher action figure (At least to my knowledge) that was released?

 Toy Biz released this Punisher action figure in 1994, and what made it memorable was that it had a "cap-firing" sound mechanism on the back of the figure that made it sound like he was shooting his gun. If memory serves, it also slightly smoked, which was entertaining. Man, I remember cap guns. You don't see those around much these days, huh? This is the original with the variant, and I believe there was yet another variant, like always in the action figure industry, but alas, I couldn't find it. Also to be noted is the trench coat, which isn't utilized too often, but was a glossy bendable consistency. I wonder how much the original of this goes for. Probably not that much, as I would imagine this not being that rare.

 This one, however, I could see being at least worth a little bit, because I've never even seen it. It's apart of a "talks" series, and yet again from company, Toy Biz. I really don't like that picture on the card, with the bandana. Actually, while I'm on the subject, I really dislike the bandana any time it's used on the Punisher. Why would he have it? To block the annoying sweat from his brow? Like when he's mowing down rapists, and thugs he couldn't be bothered to deal with a little forehead moisture? Alright, before I go off on a tangent, let's get to the next one..

 ....Actually, let's just keep moving along, shall we? I feel like I have nothing to say about this particular one right here. Feel free to attempt your jokes to yourself as you see fit. Why, just why?

  The above are Marvel Legends Nemesis Wave, Legends Series, and Legends Face-Off. The last one being the most recent, taken from the newest Punisher movie: Warzone. The Nemesis wave had the best of these three in my opinion, because it was completely different for the Punisher. All decked out in camouflage, and military paint, with the skull decorating his face. It's pretty bad-ass. I believe it might have been a variant, but again, I'm not too sure.

   These two are some of my favorites, and bunched together because they're ones I always display, until I recently lost them. The first is Legends Series 4, and the second is Marvel Select, which has a reputation for making some of the best figures for most of the characters they decide to create. Their Thanos, and Colossus are remarkable, and pretty much every attempt they do is worth owning, even for characters you might not particularly like. The Select came with the seen above douchebag baddy, with the pinball machine you had to put the legs on and wrap the handcuffs around his hands, so it was almost like building something.
I love the fact that it's a Spider Man pinball machine, little details like that are awesome. I remember my dog at the time ate, and constantly chewed on that background bar wall that's shown. The neon was obliterated. Ah, memories.

 There two midgets are apart of the Marvel 3.75 Figures Wave 2, and Hasbro Marvel Universe series. They're small, I didn't buy them, because I don't like them, and I feel they pretty much shouldn't have even been made and have very little redeeming qualities. But hey, that's just my opinion.

 This is, without a doubt, my favorite Punisher action figure, and basically one of my favorite action figures of all-time. Forgive this photo, because it's horrible, but it was really difficult to even find this one. The best thing about this was the attention to detail, and the care and effort put into it. It came with so many damn guns and weapons, it was almost impossible not to lose at least one. Guns, knives, grenades, and the best part was they had a place to go on his person, with sheaths and holsters. Oh, one of his handguns had a clip you could actually put inside the gun, as to load it! I've never even seen or heard of anything like that since in the figure world. And hey, like that's not enough, let's give these hapless bastards a friggin' mini-gun to decorate him with! There was a Thomas Jane version from the second movie, but that one blew chunks, because it didn't have nearly as many weapons or articulations this one did.

  Finishing up, this is an incredible ultra-rare picture of the forthcoming Punisher action figure for the new series, Marvel Legends, all of which designed by genius artist, Jim Lee, save two. This photo is getting deleted quickly everywhere, and I'm a magician for finding it. Haha, just kidding, I'm a magician anyways! The other ones in this series are also tremendous, such as: Jean Grey, and Archangel. When this comes out, whenever that may be, this will be the first figure I buy in pretty much years and years.

 Well, anyways, I hope you've enjoyed this tiny little stroll down action figure lane, and as always, let me know of any errors, or anything you might want to add. I could hear the alcohol calling, and I think it's time for a few drinks and maybe a night on the town. Much love to all the readers out there, and I already have my next blog prepared, so I'll be back very soon.

Until then, #PunisherBrotherhood!


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